Nothing Gold

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay. -Robert Frost

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Location: Arlington, Virginia, United States

I am a white American middle class suburban housewife trying desperately to tell herself that that is not who she is. One time I was a glowing young ruffian. Oh my God it was a million years ago.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

On Some Head Scratchers

Here is a list of some questions I have. They are not profound questions about God or the universe or the nature of man. They are just things that I wonder about and that probably have answers. If you know the answer to any of them, please enlighten me.

1. How do snakes make holes?

2. Who is R.A.B.?
Update: The identity of R.A.B. was announced on the news today. It is Regulus Arcturus Black.

3. What does the air do to bread that makes it turn hard so fast if left out?

4. When women live together their menstrual cycles become in sync. How the heck does this happen? My husband's answer is "hormones", but I still don't really understand.

5. Why does metal spark in the microwave?

6. Are mosquitos good for anything?

7. How come cottage cheese doesn't make you sick?

8. Why do frogs go limp when you rub their bellies?

9. What is the appeal of starting smoking? I can understand continuing to smoke, but why start?

10. Will I feel like a grown up if I buy a new couch?

4 Comments:

Blogger kate said...

2. *eye roll* WHO CARES. (rhetorical. I know plenty of people who do.)
3. Probably sucks the water molecules out of it. Just a guess.
4. Don't know HOW, but apparently it's so we can all get impregnated by the same roving male. Delightful.
6. Food for birds and such, I hear, but boy, I sure hate them.
9. Rebellion. Plain and simple. One of the most idiotic things EVER. ... side note, I love how signs of 'rebellion' are carefully delineated. By which I mean, people usually rebel in the same ways. Pre-selected swear words, pre-selected Goth, dark clothing, pre-selected eyeliner and paleface makeup. Etc. Woo! Nice "rebellion." You really "stand out" now.
10. Hee! Well, probably not.

3:11 PM  
Blogger Mike Stavlund said...

Stop playing with the microwave, Maggie. And for heaven sakes, put down the frog.

4:07 PM  
Blogger Sonja Andrews said...

1. hmmm ... don't know ...

2. I was RIGHT!!! Yippeee ... for once in my life.

3. I think it sucks the moisture out of the bread holes. Which is not scientific, but it's what I think.

4. Read The Red Tent ... it won't really explain the answer, but will give you a nice picture of the whole thing.

5. To remind you that you shouldn't use metal in the microwave ... it's dangerous.

6. Yes ... but I can't think of it right now.

7. Because it's good for you.

8. For the same reason that people go limp when you rub their bellies.

9. To feel cool and so that you have something to do with your other hand when you're standing around in a bar with drink in one hand. At least that was my excuse.

10. I don't know.

11:07 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Good answers all, but doesn't anyone know how snakes make holes?

5:28 PM  

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